My Sweet Little Miracles,
I've been worried about you all lately, so I thought writing you a letter may help me get some of it out.
As you grow inside me, I feel I know you more and more each day. I can tell you all apart now. Errol, you wiggle a lot, but are too low for us to feel much from the outside. We feel like you are going to having an easy-going nature like your daddy. You do like to kick Mommy's bladder though :) Avery, you are our little jumping bean. You moved a ton yesterday and Daddy and Mamaw Shouse got to feel you too. Sometimes we can feel your little head and tushy pushing so hard it's like you're trying to escape. Layla, you are pretty mellow. You were the one I felt the most at the beginning, but now you just relax and stay pretty still. You are good at reassuring us with a kick or push if we get concerned about you though and we appreciate that. At every ultrasound you have been standing straight up. You can lay down and relax if you want :) I think you are trying to be the little mommy and keep your brother and sister in line. It's very weird when you all move at once. I can't describe it. I never knew how I would be able to tell you apart, but I can.
I want you to stay in there for 15 more weeks, but it's nice to know that you have a chance of survival if you all just hang in there 5 more weeks. I am very excited, but also very scared about bringing you into this world. I know you are in God's hands right now and that he is forming you more and more everyday, but I am terrified at the thought of something being wrong with one of you. Everyday I wonder when you will be born and how big you will be. I am trying hard to give you a healthy place to grow big and strong. I eat as much as I can and am resting a lot too. Daddy is helping out with grocery shopping and a lot of kitchen clean-up since my growing tummy won't let me bend over enough to get groceries out of the cart or load or unload the bottom shelf of the dishwasher. I will do everything I can to help you grow big and healthy. You may not get to come home from the hospital with us. I pray that you will, but if you don't they will take very good care of you there. I fany of you haev to stay, we will visit you very often and will be dreaming of when we can all be home together.
It will probably be very crazy when you come home. It may take us a while to figure out how to manage all of you and your big sister Jozey. She loves to pull up Mommy's shirt and kiss my belly by the way :) If she sees anyone else touching my belly she makes a mean face and says, "My babies!" I'm sure she will help take good care of you and will be a boss like I was to your Aunt Dawn. Be patient with us. We will figure it out together.
I have so many hopes and dreams for you. I pray that you will have a personal relationship with Jesus and will someday understand what a miracle each one of you is. We may have had to go an unconventional route to get you, but The Lord still created you in His image exactly how he wanted you to be. I pray that you will all be kind to others and will put their needs before your own. I want each of you to be proud of who you are and to not let anyone change you. I struggled with accepting myself for being weird and awkward during middle school and parts of high school and I now realize what a waste of time that is. Your Daddy and I already love you sooooo much and that love will only grow. I do not want you to EVER pick on or insult others to make yourself look better. That is very ignorant and hurtful. I hope you will learn to be sensitive to others feelings and be there for people when they need someone to lean on. I hope you will go out of your way to inculde those that may be left out. I want you to always be respectful, especially of grandparents, teachers, and other authority figures. I pray that you all find wonderful spouses who will treat you amazingly. Layla and Avery, I hope that you find husbands, who are as wonderful to you as your father has been to me. Don't settle for anything less than having doors opened for you and for being treated with respect. Errol, I pray you follow your father's example of how to treat a woman and that you find a great girl who appreciates that about you and respects you in return. These are all just my hopes and dreams for you. We will never pressure you to be perfect and will always love you.
I can't wait to meet you, little ones. I love you so much. Thanks for letting me babble...you better get used to it :)